i fly into new orleans on friday.
totally stoked!

then casey, danny, keith ,and myself
are heading to houston for slaughter
fest,and then warped tour, also sunday night
seeing andrew w. k.
hellls YEAH.

i should be moving to san antonio
with rochelle and katy as well.

these last four days are really hard for
me. i'm going to miss kyle soo fucking much.
i can't wait for him to get back into the states.
its only 3 weeks for him.. but wow. at least hes
coming home.



thats pretty much all i have to say right now.
i'm not looking forward to my 11 hour flight.
no, not in the least bit.

sara panic!! DUDE . 4th of july. bourban.
BE THERE.!!!

last night, bridgette and i went
downtown,and got my ink colored.
he finish the zombies,and batwings
and he redid the heart and stars,so
my chest looks pretty fucking amazing.

hopefully i'll be in Germany still
within two weeks, so he can add some
more stuff to my chest. i'll get around
to posting pictures. if not on here, on
myspace.



GREAT NEWS THO

kyle gets to COME HOME.
hes not getting stop lost.
no deployment for him. HES DONE.
no more ARMY. He's actually at ACAP
right now. i've already done that shit,
and its lame and boring, so i feel bad
for him, but whatev.


i just want to be in arizona with him.
more than anything. i want us both home.
i want it to be okay. once we're both back
in the states,and living non military life
styles, i'm pretty positive things will be amazing.
i'm almost certain. i've never been sure of anything
this much. hes my picture perfect.



i need to be off work,because this shirt is touching my ink,
and its killing me. hahhahaha. 12 is almost here.
YAY!!!




:grow old with me. the best is still yet to come:

I LOVE YOU.

waiting for it to be 1230 so i can see the dentist, because my tooth and gum hurt more than ever,and i'm pretty sure, the docs going to take a big needle and get all the puss out of my gum,and ewwe. ewwe. ewwe.



i kinda wanna just lay with kyle and not say a word.
oh yeah;
sex has never been better.hahahaha

that he digs me.<3

my favorite person in this entire world.
kyle lee!

someone whos completely up for anything.
someone who has fun wherever they go.
and someone i can talk to for hours on end about anything.


guess what.
GOT THAT!!!!!!!

But you have to take action to get it.”



so this is a really long entry. WARNING!.


Have you ever been head over heals for somebody and all of a sudden they

come into your life and open up your already broken,trying to fix fucking heart ,basically meaning, them getting inside of youand fucking your head and heart
up all over again? how you've been hurt so much in the past, and you've just built yourself this huge wall, and try your hardest not to let them, but they come into your life anyways
by just that smile, that laugh, or maybe even that kiss on the neck? how they hold you allthrough the night, and nothing in your life has ever once made you feel as safe as he does now? i've been so scared to even begin another relationship, because i've been
hurt soo fucking much in the past, but what makes me think this would be any different, what makes me think everyword he tells me isnt bullshit.? what makes me think every emotion that hes shown me isnt a fucking facade? what makes me think that this
could actually last,and mean something. ? The way he looks me straight into my eyes,and has told me everything wrong he's ever done, to admitting shit i don't think i could ever admitt,
if i was in a situation like that, to the way his eyes light up when he looks at me, to his never wanting to let go of my hands,and that smile.. god it makes me melt.. i love when i get off work,and i go to my room,and he knocks on the door 30 mins later,lays down on my bed, and grabs my hand kisses my lips,and says"this is what i've been wanting all day long" , " to just nap with you " and his leaving at 530am for our morning formations, getting back down to his room, to only text me 5 mins later missing me already. i love how he'll invite me to everything he gets invited to, and knowing wether or not i'd be down with going, to decline that invite, only so he can spend more time with me. he's something i've never expeirenced before. i thought i had that with doug. wrong.i thought about brody, and def WRONG, and i thought about random dudes i semi off and on with, and just so wrong wrong wrong. i've done so many fucked up things in these past few years, and became a person, i never wanted to be, and i did all of this because i wasnt happy, or at least thats the only excuse i could come up with. i think i was just soo hurt in that long relationship with doug, that i just didntthink there was anyone in this world to actually care for me. to think i'm amazing. to be happy when just my name is mentioned?i don't understand why i got so lucky with this. if i never would of came into that room that one day, none of this would be happening right now. i know most people these days have lost faith in GOD,but that is one thing i have done right. i've never lost my faith,and i pray to him, even when my days are still the shittiest days ever, and i think he finally answered my prayer. i think he knew i needed this . i think he knew kyle needs this,i think he put me in that room on that particular day, knowing that when we first actually looked each other in the eyes, that was it. immediently i was hook,line,&sinker. i think he decided it was time for Brooke to get that perfect guy, to know what its like for someone to actually CARE for her, than to USE her;because to be honest, i'm soo tired of being used. i'm so tired of hurting; tired of crying.


last night, we were laying in bed, listening to saves the day,and a song came on, and it got me a little teary eye, and kyle asked me :whats on your mind?:, and i said these four words, "please;don't hurt me", and right then he grabbed me tighter than anyones ever done, and said "that is one thing i promise you won't ever have to worry about", and for the first time in my life, i believed that sentence. i truely believe he just really might be the one, and i'd rather be spending my days in arizona, with the most amazing person on this earth,
then back in Texas, or La, dealing with drama/lame dudes/friends that come and go when they feel like it/liars/fakes/backstabbers/.

he just shows no signs of any of that. hes just so honest with everything. yanno like the type of person who has to stop for like two mins to give you an answer? nope, it takes him maybe two seconds to give me a straight answer. hes just it. , and i swear i've never smiled like this before. i believe hes whats going to make me a better person. i believe hes already prooven that statement.

i'm so in like with kyle lee john,and my glowing face; well it shows.

i had the most amazing sex last night.
the best sex i've ever had in my entire fucking
life.

just thought i'd share it with all of you .

is everything i've ever wanted in a man and more.
i'm officially the happiest girl in the entire world.